Noor means light. Noor jehan means light of the world. For a man that has lived most his life in darkness, a ray would’ve been enough.
What the fuck you on about dude? The curse of my mind remains, as I strain to open my eyes to the new light around me, the shadows, the last remains of my prison, hide behind me and grip on me. ” don’t go u fool! Don’t leave us here, come back where everything you know is; this is nothing but an illusion” I look back at them, my shadows, once the ever engulfing darkness around me, now but dark spots behind me. ” noor will blind you, she will dazzle you with her beauty. And show you what we have hidden from you. She will curse you and make you see a different you, you will become but a mockery! Come come back to us, walk away and be back in the safety of us, we, we your shadows, your companions, your darkness, we cannot betray you”.
I look on at my shadows then turn my face to my noor. I close my eyes and push my face to her. I feel her warmth on my face, my body, my skin. I feel the warmth of the light. It scares me, this new feeling but it is what i want. I want the light to love me like I am starting to love her. I want her to expose me so I know who I am. I smile and turn my face back at my shadows, “shh” I whisper, “be quiet!” I now snarl. ” I have loyally suffered in you long enough, and now I will be exposed, vunerable and walk a path that scares and excites in equal measure. Today, my noor exposes to me that you tried to hide from me, and finally I can feel who I always was”
I turn to face my noor and walk towards her into the unknown. The shadows get smaller with each step but remain with me, awaiting my fall back into thier clutches.
Better to have escaped and fallen back into the darkness to have never left it at all.